


A Flash of White Against an Expanse of Green

by mentallyincali



Category: Dracula - Bram Stoker, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Domestic Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Vampires, dracula is a snob, i guess there’s some domestic fluff ?, i was sad and wrote this to laugh, idk why shrek talks the way he does in this but that’s just how it happened, it’s 4am help, my beta is literally just dawn reading stuff and going hey that’s wrong, this is a crack fic plain and simple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28546671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mentallyincali/pseuds/mentallyincali
Summary: a short crack fic that i’ve been thinking about for the past few days including shrek and dracula
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

The tall, thin man tumbled through the air before landing on his feet on the pliant ground. He stood up and shook his cloak out before looking around him. He didn’t know where he was, or how he came to be there, but he was thankful the sun had already mostly set. As he glanced around he saw a small brown shack in the distance. Straightening up, he pushed his hair out of his face and set off towards the dilapidated building. The cooling air around him was chilly and laden with moisture but it didn’t bother him, he didn’t feel it at all. He picked his way slowly over the ground, careful not to step on any soft patches or in any puddles. He finally made it to the spot in front of the brown building. He rolled his shoulders, fixed his cloak so it draped correctly, put on his most winning (and slightly predatory) smile and then knocked on the door in front of him. He heard someone grumble on the other side of it and then the door swung open and a large, green, ogre of a man looked at him. 

"Who are you? What are you doing in my swamp?" The large green being spoke in a thick accent. 

"I’m Dracula, Vlad Dracula, and I was travelling through this area but got a little lost." His smile stretches and his eyes grow a shade darker. "If it’s not too much trouble can I spend the night?" The green man stares at him and then breaks into a large smile. 

"Of course. Welcome in, come in. I’m Shrek. There’s not much space in here but you’re welcome to share it with me tonight." The giant green man lumbers backwards and gestures Dracula in. Dracula grins, revealing thin pointed white teeth, and steps through the doorway. 

"Thank you for inviting me in, Shrek."


	2. Chapter 2

Dracula entered the small room, eyes darting around, taking everything in, but not really registering anything. He didn’t plan on staying long. Only long enough to see if the green man, Shrek, was good to feed on or not. However he had gotten here was beginning to take its toll and he could feel his skin stretch over his bones and the heartbeat of the being next to him grow louder and louder. He was thirsty, parched even. And so tired. Dracula tuned back into reality and heard Shrek talking about soup and pouring something into bowls. 

"Good thing I made extra tonight. Don’t know why I made extra but it’s good that I did. Here you go, come sit over here. There’s a spoon, here’s your bowl.” Shrek sets the table and pulls two chairs up to it. Dracula floats over to him and sits down in front of a bowl. Eating it won’t really do much for him, he probably won’t even taste it. His body doesn’t have a need for mundane food anymore. He usually just eats to maintain some semblance of humanity when around other people. He supposes that right now is one of those times. Dracula and Shrek sip their soup in silence. Shrek somehow understood that Dracula wasn’t really feeling up for conversation. Dracula was thankful for the quietness, it gave him time to focus on getting the soup down his throat and into his body and having it warm him so that he wasn’t so cold to the touch. Once he finished he pushed his bowl away from him. 

"Thank you, Shrek. That was delicious and just what I needed." 

"I’m glad it could help." Shrek smiles and finishes his own soup. "If you want to gather our bowls and put them over there that would be a mighty fine help. I’ll set up a mat for you to sleep on. I’m sorry that I don’t have an extra bed for you."

"It’s no problem at all. You’ve already been so hospitable. This is more than enough."

Shrek and Dracula go about their tasks and soon dinner is put away and both creatures are ready for bed. Dracula looks at the makeshift bed on the floor and internally shudders in disgust. He misses his bed and it’s opulence and comfort. He quietly sighs in resignation and sinks to the floor for a sleepless night. But maybe tonight he can eat something that he can actually taste. Something that will actually sustain him. Shrek mumbles a good night, sleepiness making his accent thicker, and turns over on his cot. Dracula bids him goodnight back and closes his eyes. He lays on his back with his hands folded over his stomach but he doesn’t sleep. Instead he thinks. Dracula decides he needs to wait until Shrek is fast asleep. Once that happens he can silently creep up and feed. 

Time passes and Dracula hears Shrek’s heartbeat and breathing even out and slow down. Dracula silently stands up from his spot on the floor and gently walks to the slumbering form of the man who invited him into his house. He hears a few quiet snores from the green man, but other than that he is peaceful and still. Dracula goes still, the kind of still that only one of the undead can achieve and focuses on the body in front of him and his own senses. As the sound of Shrek’s heartbeat and blood pumping through his veins grows louder Dracula can feel his teeth push through his gums and come out into his mouth. He gently pushes Shrek’s blanket away from his shoulder and slowly lowers his mouth towards the green flesh. He is close enough to the skin to feel the faint warmth of it on his cold skin. He opens his mouth wider to sink his teeth into the man before him. His teeth pierce the skin and suddenly warmth fills his mouth and begins to spread through his face, throat, and body. He drinks more but begins to feel woozy and senses Shrek shifting. Dracula can feel Shrek start to move more underneath him so he removes his mouth and is about to dart away when Shrek turns over and speaks. 

"Ogre blood doesn’t really agree with vampires does it now?" Shrek sits up and grabs Dracula’s arm to pull him closer. He grabs a wooden object from underneath his pillow and stands up. Dracula stares at it in surprise and confusion. How does Shrek have that? He needed to get out of here yesterday. Why can’t he move? Shrek places one large green hand on the side of Dracula’s face and squeezes gently. 

"I’m sorry it has to end this way." 

"End what way? Why can’t I move at all...?"

"I’m sorry Dracula." Shrek smiles a small closed off smile at Dracula one more time before driving the wooden stake though Dracula’s chest. Clean through where his beating heart should be. Dracula gasps and his eyes close as his body slowly turns to a pale grey color. Shrek clenches his open fist by his side before gently lowering the dead vampire to the floor of the shack. He makes sure the wooden stake is firmly in Dracula’s chest before dragging him out to behind the shack where he buries him. Shrek says one last farewell to the dead man and leaves the freshly filled in grave behind him.


End file.
